We'll tell all our friends to go home. We'll clean our mess up in the morning. The wine that we spilled will sink into the carpet - I don't care, let it happen.
It's just something I remembered.
The mattress is covered in something that won't, it will not, let us sleep. I know that this all must mean something - to somebody other than me.
Who I am, who I'm trying to be.
Track Name: Everything's So Bad
I open my mouth and all the strangest things come out.
Don't know how to say what you want me to say anyway.
I'm tryina feel fine without you around.
Don't know how to do what you want me to do anyhow.
Everything's so bad.
I want to but I can't.
I try and I try or I think that I try and it just doesn't work.
The things that I do or that I want to do and the reasons...
I'm so sorry, I don't know - I just don't know how to think, how to speak, how to feel, how to be anything close to happy at all.
Track Name: Frankie Valli
i've been living like i know i'm alone
and ever since everyone's left i've felt it worse than before
but we gotta do what we gotta do
haven't felt this far from myself in a while
worried and wondering if i'll keep it together somehow
sometimes you win, but most times you lose
the nights are always long and the morning always comes
and the moon is pulling oceans - i'm burning from the sun
i fall with the leaves then despise the trees
everybody leaves, but not everybody goes
and if the moon can pull the oceans who knows?
but we gotta move where we gotta move
and i gotta do what i gotta do
and you gotta do what you gotta do
and we gotta do, yeah we gotta do
and I gotta do with or without you
seems like I would know by now -
everybody on a fading, dissipating cloud
i'll run away
you'll run away
we'll run away
Track Name: Winter
Let the winter come.
Broken branches, freeze.
These falling snowflakes, illustrate this new version of me.
Let the cold wind blow.
Flowing water, freeze.
This icy concrete, meet my boots and show me what I mean.
This season's no different.
I'm sleeping in.
For fear I wake dreaming -
For fear of what I might begin.
Let the sun slide down.
Let the moon rise up.
Let the days turn into weeks until the years have had enough.
Let the morning fade
with these things I've made.
Let my eyelids close and let my body parts decay.
This season's no different.
I'm still awake.
For fear I stay sleeping -
For fear of what I may or may not miss.
I don't care about the temperature.
Complaining won't make it change, so I guess I'll just accept what is.
I'll close my mouth and I'll close my eyes and I'll cross my heart and I'll hope to die, but while I'm still alive, I'll try my best to recognize what I can't change.
Try to embrace the day.
Track Name: Drive
She walked me to the door and I saw the look on her face and I thought,
I’m not getting any younger.
I’m not getting anywhere.
I’m not getting any smarter -
I don’t care.
In certain seconds there lie hours, days and weeks and years of night.
In wandering I see nothing, straight ahead’s a pretty sight.
I know that she don’t want me and I know that I don’t her,
but sometimes it ain’t easy to remember what you learned -
to apply those things
to try those things.
I don’t care if I'm ugly.
I don’t care that I'm weak.
You’re beautiful and dancing and your right in front of me.
Now it crushes me, your absence, like a pill I didn’t take.
Needn’t be you I guess but anyone else to help me tap my breaks.
You can drive for a damn long time alone but not forever.
I stumbled to your bedroom one night while you were asleep.
I crawled beneath the covers and I listened to you breath.
The uppers had me lifted, the downers had me low, the alcohol emotions, raging forth, I let 'em go.
I pet your head, I touched your arms, I felt your warmth, I kissed you hard, but I am still the same, alone, ashamed. Cover my brain in something hard and let it rot, because I swear that it’s not worth that much.
My heart, my blood, my thoughts, my words are nothing
My heart, my blood, my brain, my face mean nothing.
Track Name: Right/Wrong
We talk about ourselves.
We write songs about ourselves.
We think about ourselves.
I'm not better, you're no better.
Everything's good, bad.
I don't believe that.
Leave that place and go.
Everything's right, wrong.
I just want to go home and stay.
Everything's right, wrong.
Track Name: Waiting, Shaking
Waiting, shaking, in bed again, alone again.
It's morning, and though I want to call you, I won't, because I can't.
You don't like me as much as I like you.
You don't want me as much as I want you.
I'm up, I'm down - I'm always here and you're never around.
I'm sorry. I mean it.
I'm sorry don't mean shit.
I'm trying. Believe me.
Remember then forget.
Don't listen when I say "I love you" or "I'll change" - I can't change.
Don't let me talk to you, just walk away, baby it's okay.
Dive in, swim down - take what you can while you can 'til you drown.
Track Name: So Far, So Bad
I want to be honest with you.
I want to tell the truth.
But baby lately I can't seem to say a thing that isn't a lie.
So far, so bad.
I want to get naked with you.
I want to get healthy with you.
But baby I've a scar that I can't hide and I don't want you to see.
I don't know what to do, what to say, when I see you.
My heart calms down every time you decide to stick around.
I think and I think and I say what I think that I mean but don't mean, please don't listen to me, I don't mean anything by the way that I stare or the way I pretend to believe when I tell you "I don't care."
Track Name: Someday
Feels like I’m falling away from everyone I like and I love and it’s my fault, I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to change yet. Feel free to ignore me while I keep on throwing my fits.
Tomorrow breaks into my bedroom like a thief.
Feel paralyzed by my mind, try, but I can’t speak.
Some company to lift me up then calm me down.
Repeat the process 'til tomorrow comes around.
But someday I’ll change.
Someday, yeah, I won’t be this way.
Someday I’ll change -
I’ll be better than the person I am today.
Oh my dear, I’m sorry for the things I’ve done.
Oh my dear, I’m sorry.
Feels like I’m failing at everything I try to do and it sucks and my god I can’t take it. Alone and upset. Confused and depressed and my life is a mess and I’m scared I don’t care.
The sun another friend turned foe through years of pain.
Sever my hands, my feet, my body, blood, my brain.
Alienate myself through lies and this disguise.
My face - a portrait of what happens when a loved one dies.